About Intensives Resource Vault Podcast D.I.R.E.
Hope Ray

About Hope

Hope Ray, LPC CSAT CHFP CCPS
Hope is the creator of Complex Partner Trauma Magazine, a publication for betrayed women, and the host of Women Who Discover, a private podcast about infidelity betrayal.

For over a decade, Hope has walked alongside betrayed partners and couples in her intensive-based practice in Michigan. She is a wife and mother of two, a “foodie,” a piano songwriter and a bird lover with aspirations to someday become a falconer.

Hope serves on the advisory board for Lit Path, a nonprofit organization that provides partial therapy scholarships for those in need.
If you would like to apply for a scholarship to reduce therapy costs with your therapist -OR- if you’d like to help fund scholarships for those struggling to afford the help they need, scan the QR code. It’s quick, easy, and truly impactful - the only program of its kind!

 

Hope serves on the advisory board for Lit Path, a nonprofit organization that provides partial therapy scholarships for those in need.
If you would like to apply for a scholarship to reduce therapy costs with your therapist -OR- if you’d like to help fund scholarships for those struggling to afford the help they need, scan the QR code below. It’s quick, easy, and truly impactful - the only program of its kind!

Media Inquiries: [email protected]

8/8/25
To my clients, community and colleagues,

I am writing to take full responsibility for a serious mistake I made. Just recently, I publicly speculated about a public figure’s mental health, someone I have never met and about whom I have no right to make diagnostic inferences. I did this by posting on social media, making comments that equate to the very thing I am trained to avoid: armchair diagnosis.

As a licensed professional counselor, I understand and have always been committed to the ethical principles that are the bedrock of my profession; and, yet, I assumed my good intentions were clear enough to speak flippantly about a sensitive topic. This was a profound error in judgment and a misuse of my professional voice and platform. And I deeply regret it.

Instead of fostering a positive discussion about neurodivergence and public criticism, which was my aim, it had the opposite effect. I believe I spoke in a tone that was confusing; my framing was flawed and insensitive. Moreover, using a public figure as a case study in this manner was inappropriate. I now also realize that what I presented could imply a lack of respect for personal and health care confidentiality and privacy rights, especially when coming from a licensed professional. I made comments that can erode trust in both the counseling profession and in me personally.

Here, I want to apologize to my clients, to those who identify with neuro-differences, and to my fellow mental health care professionals. I am truly sorry for my lack of judgment in the content I posted, despite my good intentions. Upon learning of my error, I immediately took this content down, but I want to be clear: I am accountable for its impact.

As such, I am committing to re-evaluating my entire content creation objectives, style, platforms, and process; and I am taking additional training on the ethics of social media for mental health professionals.

I am extremely proud of my profession and the wonderful people I work with on a daily basis. I am committed to examining myself, my motives, and my personal responsibility. I can and will do better.


Sincerely,
Hope Ray

I'm casting a vision

Infidelity in committed relationships is usually a unilateral act. Every coupleship has spoken or assumed agreements about what crosses the line into cheating, and open relationships are no exception. When one person breaches the fidelity code of conduct they have with their partner, it breaks down trust and safety. The tricky part is this: because most fidelity violators work to keep their actions secret, their partners keep loyally contributing to the relationship in a false context of safety. Once a partner discovers more secrets, the distrust that has been heating up for years comes to a full boil. I call this reality collapse, and it is a deeply traumatic experience. Unfortunately, many couples seek counseling only after these discovery patterns have occurred multiple times. Furthermore, finding the right help, right away can be a huge challenge for clients. With so many programs and approaches out there, sifting through it all — while in total crisis mode — can be overwhelming.

I believe that as the mental health realm embraces the language of betrayal violence we will see more consistent therapeutic assessment and application. There are so many good books, podcasts and programs targeting the rebuilding of trust, and it’s important for clients to feel represented by the lens through which their selected resources address infidelity. This can be difficult, as they each offer different blends of theoretical perspectives about things like problematic sexual behavior, sex addiction, attachment theory, betrayal trauma theory, codependency, coercive control, spirituality and more. 

It is essential that we begin using standardized terms regarding infidelity in the therapy realm. It is paramount that the field of psychology as a whole correctly understand the glaring issue of power and control imbedded in most secret cheating and intimate betrayal. 

I believe this information has the power to impact not only the mental health domain but also the legal system, the medical field, and faith-based, community and advocacy programs.

It’s #timetodefine betrayal violence

The conduct of betrayal violence hasn’t been clearly defined – until now. This language is meant to provide relief and cohesion for clients and clinicians alike; it serves as a springboard to unity and clarity in the clinical community and beyond. 

My hope is that every person navigating through this traumatic terrain can feel comprehensively seen, understood, and guided to the right next thing.

We’re leading a movement - initiating promising change… The world will catch on as we keep going.

Imagine the possibilities...
Here are the goals for this work:

  • Every gynecologist will be able to identify and provide resources for betrayal violence.

  • Every pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, bishop, Biblical counselor, etc. will be able to recognize the presence of abuse dynamics in working with couples where betrayal violence is occurring.

  • Every court system will maintain accountability for betrayal violence in relevant divorce and child custody cases.

  • Psychologists, psychiatrists, and therapists will immediately assess for power and control dynamics in couples therapy where there are infidelity-related concerns. 

  • Every domestic violence center will have programming and resources available specifically for betrayal violence.

  • Professors and graduate counseling programs will include betrayal violence conduct in their curricula. 

  • Certified coaches will be able to detect betrayal violence conduct and offer support and education to their clients.

  • Advocates will take a reponse-based approach to betrayal violence and promote awareness through non-victim-blaming advocacy.

  • And clients will have a more effective starting place by having equity concerns prioritized in their individual and couples therapy. 

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